An Old Article I Wrote

Absurd Homeschool Q & A
Okay, so all homeschoolers know that getting asked strange and unusual questions comes with the territory, but the longer you’ve been homeschooled the more you get. So how does one go about answering the strange and unusual? Well, with a lot of stuttering because the questions throw you for a loop, but after the fact is when the perfect answers arise. The following are all questions I’ve been asked in my eight years of homeschooling, really, So here’s the question, followed by what our snarky side wishes to reveal followed by a second, and proper answer.

Q. Do you like homeschooling?
A. No, can’t you tell by this look of constant suffering?
A. Yes, homeschooling is very beneficial for me.

Q. What about socialization?
A. No! Not the s word! I’m not a socialist!
A. We’re socializing just by discussing it.

Q. You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
A. Yes, one must have an incredibly superior intellect to be part of the homeschooling community.
A. How do you really answer this? Just smile in reply.

Q. Don’t you hate being around your mom all the time?
A. Yes! Save me from the horrors of bonding with her any longer!
A. No, I’m weird that way.

Q. Do you go to a local school to take tests?
A. Did you know that people could actually learn without tests? I’m living proof!
A. No, the state allows parents to issue tests as they see necessary.

Q. Is your mom a certified teacher?
A. Nope, it adds to the suspense! I teach myself too! Scary huh?
A. There is currently only one state that requires this, and this state is not the one.

Q. Do you get to graduate?
A. Sadly enough, I’m stuck in homeschool land forever, never to graduate. Of course I can, silly!
A. Yes, in my state, parents can issue diplomas.

Q. So, does that make your dad the principal?
A. Sure, but we all like to play dress up and switch roles sometimes.

A. He has the power to sign as principal when needed.

Q. Do you have many friends?
A. Friends? Are those what you call the voices in my head? I have an invisible friend too!
A. Not many, but I have many opportunities to make friends.

Q. Won’t you miss the prom?
A. My mom laughs out loud at this question, so I’m betting no. I had homeschool cotillion, I’m good, thanks.
A. Many homeschool groups have proms.